Chapter 18: The Doors of San Diego

Hello! Hope the week is treating you right so far. Let the tales begin!

The beginning of this past week stands out to me a lot. Wednesday morning felt very off. Elder Meilstrup and I both started the day off on the wrong foot, and we were feeling the weight of just how many of our goals we were failing to meet. Goals in our missionary work, yes, but also personal goals. Before we left the apartment, I privately knelt down in prayer, saying "I've made a lot of mistakes, and I feel so guilty, but I'll have faith that you don't want me to be angry with myself right now, even though it genuinely feels like you do." Funny how our feelings can so quickly sweep aside the truths God has made plain in His words. He is patient. He is loving. He wants us to recognize we need to improve, but to be gentle with ourselves in that recognition. That afternoon, we sat down at a park to do our weekly planning and tried to sort out our upcoming week. Thinking back on our attitudes over the past week, both of us in turn wrote in our personal goals for the week: "Repent!" When priorities and performance seem to be spiraling in all directions, better to first turn back toward God in humility before turning to the task before you.

The day progressed with a big list of visits in the ward we'd been meaning to get to, with some tracting along the way. Some of these visits ended up turning into lessons on the spot, so we got to do even more teaching than we expected that day. One such example was with Brother and Sister Hamrick. We knocked and they immediately invited us in. We then had a long chat with them in their living room, and when we brought up the topic of scheduling a lesson, they said they'd love to hear one right then. Brother Hamrick proceeded to tell us that his friend Jed would be coming over to install a shelf for them in a few minutes, and that he really wanted to introduce him to us. A story then unfolded. Jed had known the Hamricks for a while, and one day he asked them if they were members of the church. They told him they were, but they were surprised, because they had never talked about their religion around him before. "I could just tell by the way you act," he said. Inspired by that experience and Jed's kindness in general, Brother Hamrick has really wanted to share the gospel with him. Partway through the lesson (which had a special spirit and some cool epiphanies), Jed arrived, and Brother Hamrick greeted him, introduced us, and asked "Would you be interested in meeting with them?" Putting Jed on the spot right off the bat. He said yes! Unfortunately, he doesn't live in our area, but we referred them to some other elders in our zone and got them in contact with the Hamricks. The lesson finished, Sister Hamrick gave us each a small handful of dove dark chocolates, and we took a couple celebratory minutes in the car afterward eating them while listening to "You've Got a Friend in Me" (a funny tradition for when you find a new nonmember friend to teach--even though we won't be teaching Jed, it was a victory in the day).

The very last lesson we taught that evening had SUCH a strong spirit. A sister in that family had specifically walked up to us and asked us for a lesson after we gave our talks a couple Sundays ago because she had been worrying about her kids' testimonies. We discussed how God's words never cease. This firstly means He always has more to reveal to us in general, but it also means He is always trying to communicate with us personally. At the end, we extended an invitation that was inspired by an experience I had in the temple the day before: take some time to imagine a conversation with Christ.

At the end of the night, Elder Meilstrup remarked that though the day hadn't been perfect considering the morning, from the afternoon on it had been SUCH a good day. I replied that in a way, smaller steps of improvement are more comforting than dramatic change. They are a more sure sign that you're making steady progress, whereas sudden "perfection" feels like it could all go away the next day.

A young man in our ward named Jared joined us on Thursday evening. He's preparing to serve a mission in Washington this March, and we loved having him along for the ride. We had planned to take him through a bunch of doorstep visits and a little tracting, but our very first visit turned into a full lesson (which was precisely what we were hoping for), so plans took a turn. We were glad to feel the spirit with that family, which has recently started coming to church more often, and Jared absolutely topped the lesson by sharing his testimony at the end. As an aside, the parents in that family used to model in New York City, and have been selling clothing ever since then, so they have a massive wardrobe. The dad, who still bears the nickname "Hot Thomas", let me pick a flamboyant tie to keep from his massive collection of old fashioned wide ties. I don't know that I'll be wearing it a whole lot as a missionary, but it's definitely a novelty.

Bishop Cannon from my home ward was visiting San Diego for work, and we got permission from my mission president to have lunch together! It was really good to see him, and I'm so grateful for the immense support he has given me leading up to my mission.

Prior to my mission, I worked for a year at SureLoc Hardware, a warehouse that carries door and bath hardware. It was the sort of job that gives you a bunch of information on a really specific thing that people normally don't give a second thought. In my case, I came out of it knowing names for a variety of doorknob models and finishes. Among friends, I turned this peculiar wealth of knowledge into an ongoing game by spontaneously calling out a model, finish, and item code whenever we passed by a door. "Cedar Lever Entry in Vintage Bronze! CD107 11P!" Now, I didn't realize back then how applicable this game would be to missionary work. Why? Because we see a lot of doors out here! A LOT. Sometimes I wonder whether we're getting better acquainted with the doors of San Diego better than the people! (I'm half kidding.) But, this means I've been able to baffle each of my companions with the strange attention I give to the many handlesets, deadbolts, levers, and knobs around us. Now, one day we were dropping by the house of a family in the ward, and after we rang the doorbell I peered down at the doorknob, commented with some warehouse jargon, then did a double take. Across the deadbolt was written some all too familiar branding. SureLoc! Just as I began freaking out about this, Brother Linnell answered the door, and I gave an overenergetic explanation about why his front door had just made my day. He smiled and told a similar story about how a former job of his made him a lot more aware of AC vents. While maybe a little silly, it's kind of fun taking interest in things that pretty much no one else cares about. And you know what? This can totally relate to being a disciple of Jesus Christ. I'll leave it to you to connect the dots 😆.

We had many other great lessons this week that I'd love to recount, but alas, I'll have to leave it there. Let's just say the members of this ward are wonderful, and it's incredible how the gospel is meaningful to so many different people in so many different ways.

God be with you,

Elder Tolman

The before and after of realizing a selfie is being taken:

I love the way the palm trees poke out from their surroundings to say hi.

Chapter 17: Christ & Imagination

Hello! This week strangely flew by, and my companion and I are both baffled about the inconsistency of the spacetime continuum. But, amid that, we've been on a roll contacting unknown records and teaching lots of member lessons. Some of the object lessons we've used have gotten a pretty entertaining level of involvement with the families we're visiting, leading one such family to have a lighthearted shouting match that somehow ended in a really strong spirit. We each invite the spirit in different ways, I suppose 😆.

Several highlights for you:

•Following some slightly comedic confusion about our meeting venue, we found Brother King hanging out in a Shell parking lot, and when we parked, he promptly climbed into our back seat, and we gave a lesson in the car, twisted around in our seats. Though the setup was a little wonky and we totally let go of our lesson plan to address some trials he's been facing, the spirit was present, and it spoke answers to him beyond what we taught. I wish I had time to go into detail! Later in the week we also went over the oath and covenant of the priesthood with him, and we've loved his dedication to studying it.

•We had Zone Conference this past Thursday. Eric Weddle was our guest this time, and he shared some great insights on being all-in with the gospel. We also appreciated hearing his perspective on holding to standards in trying environments. His football career has definitely put him in some interesting situations as a member of the church. As a side tangent, one of our AP's has been super hooked on the idea of sharing the gospel with Tom Brady, and after Zone Conference he wracked up the courage to walk up to Eric, give him a Book of Mormon, and invite him to send it to Tom Brady with his testimony in it. Eric said he would! Our AP proceeded to get his number so he could follow up on that.

•We had Stake Conference this past weekend, and among other great speakers, President and Sister Merritt came to the adult session on Saturday evening. We also saw Brother Sadleir there (the self proclaimed Ambassador of Positive Thought and Good Cheer I got to meet last transfer). He had a smiley face pin at the ready to give Elder Meilstrup, so my comp has officially joined me as a deputy! 

•After we gave up all hopes of seeing Shawn and Grace again (having dropped them on our area book), Shawn randomly texted us to set up a meeting last week! .......and then rescheduled for next week. Our hope is...definitely doing the hokey pokey. 

•The heater in our apartment doesn't work, so it's always uncomfortably chilly as we get ready for the day or head to bed, BUT, through a small series of convenient events, our friend Albert spontaneously gave us a space heater! That, ladies and gentleman, is called a tender mercy. Albert doesn't share our belief in God, but we hope he'll eventually come to know that God has been working through him nonetheless!

•A couple weeks ago I shared some thoughts on the comparison between the sun, moon, and stars, and how that relates to God's glory. I came across this verse in Doctrine and Covenants the other day, and  was taken with how dramatically it put that analogy into perspective. "And so great shall be the glory of his presence that the sun shall hide his face in shame, and the moon shall withhold its light, and the stars shall be hurled from their places" (D&C 133:49). Our analogies certainly help our mortal understandings along, but we must always remember that they don't even come close to God's scale. Christ can offer more than our understanding can encapsulate. Charity breaches the bounds of our imagination.

•Early this morning we got to attend the temple (using our one opportunity for the transfer) and spent a little longer than normal pondering in the Celestial Room, which was a spiritual delight and a pretty singular chance to enjoy some quiet reverence. In particular, I imagined what it would be like if Christ were sitting there next to me. What would His expression be when He looked at me? What would I say? What would I ask? Can I even begin to imagine how He would answer me? What's my best guess? This thought process went from being a pleasant little meditation to being an exercise that began to stretch my faith and understanding. I had to lean on something I've been told a few times: we know God better than we think we do.

•Sister Luna, a friend from Anne's mission, drove down from Perris, California just to have dinner with us! We loved hearing her testimony, discussing Christ's character, talking with her about the legendary Hermana Tolman.

Hope everyone has a fantastic week!

God be with you,

Elder Tolman

Photos:

The temple has such a majestic glow through the night.
It's always a fun contrast entering before sunrise and exiting to a bright morning.

Me and Elder Meilstrup after doing initiatories and endowments. The latter was a unique experience since one of our fellow missionaries who attended that session is deaf, so we got to see the instructional portion in ASL.

Us with Sister Luna!

Some members in the ward own a cat named Sadie
who is sadly condemned to wear the cone of shame.

Two Deputies of Positive Thought and Good Cheer proudly wearing our badges

My zone with Eric Weddle at Zone Conference. Am I with my zone in this? Nope! I'm somewhere behind the photographer completely distracted talking with Elder Harmer about Calexico. That was a rough memo to miss. I did console myself with a photo with Eric afterward, but I'm still waiting for it along with the rest of our Zone Conference pictures.

Me and Lou the hibernating tortoise

Chapter 16: "We're thankful for the moisture we've received."

Hello! I've been struggling to organize my thoughts, so I've just got an elaborate photo show & tell for ya.

•Lots of gloomy skies lately. The intense rain buffeting Northern California has made its presence known down here in San Diego. Saturday evening turned the streets into streams, but aside from that it hasn't been too crazy in our area. During the opening prayer of one of our member lessons I was about to say "and we're thankful for the moisture we've received" but caught myself and rephrased, thinking "Is that a Utahn thing?" Fast forward to church on Sunday, and what was on the docket of gratitude for the opening prayer there? Moisture. Though I still haven't drawn any conclusions, cause I feel like half the ward here has lived in Utah at some point.

•We've been visiting more inactive families in this past week. One afternoon while out on said visits, we came across a lost cat sign for a fellow named Baguette, which was both fantastic and tragic. 

As a follow-up to one of those visits, we had a really good lesson with an inactive part-member family last night. A priest in the ward kindly joined us to invite a youth in that family to quorum activities. We don't know what's holding them back, but the mother shared a sincere testimony of prayer and miracles, and she has many good friends in the ward, so we just hope they'll reach out to us with any needs or questions.

•We strive for variety in our selfies.

•As I drive up and down the hills of Peñasquitos, the palm trees against sunsets can be very distracting--in the best of ways.

•My unworthy mortal coil before the legendary Boedy Burger. Elder Meilstrup has finally been initiated into the ward and dubbed a true missionary by trying it. It was pleasant teaching and eating with the Jack family again. They were the very first ward members I met in Rancho Peñasquitos.

•Elder Meilstrup teaching Boedy the Eldridge knot. Soon all the youth will be converted.

•Ah yes, Firestone. Our car has needed an oil change for a concerning and undisclosed amount of time, so we finally got that scheduled and took it in this past Saturday. We would be stuck without a car for a good long while, but we were both assigned to speak in sacrament meeting the following Sunday, so we decided to walk 15 minutes over to a library to write our talks while we waited. And we continued to wait...for FOUR HOURS. As we wrote, the rain started up outside and did not relent for the rest of the day, so we had a lovely time hydrating our clothing during the walk back. 

Did either of us finish our talks in this sprawling allotment of time? No sir, we did not. We were overthinking those things all the way past dinner hour. BUT, they went very well the next morning, and we've noticed their impact on the ward in the couple days since. We've been excited to continue to build trust with the members. Our topic was "strengthening our relationship with Jesus Christ", and it was really cool speaking as a companionship since our focuses complemented each other. In mine I discussed how we draw closest to others when we trust that they accept us both at our best and our worst. 2 Nephi 4:19 reads, "And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted." Thankfully, Christ is unconditionally trustworthy.

One last note that I don't have a picture for. On Friday I went on exchanges with our district leader, Elder Spencer. I've got a couple highlights from that day. First was tracting, cause Elder Spencer has a knack for turning doorstep approaches into games. There were a lot of front porch potted plants in the complex we were visiting, so he became set on the goal of finding someone who would let him water their plants. No luck, unfortunately, but it got a couple conversations going, and we met a friendly man named Jorge we said we could come again. One of the doors we knocked was answered by a Muslim woman who immediately brushed us off by saying she was leaving for something soon. Elder Spencer quickly changed gear and said "I was just wondering if we could get some water. We've been out all day." The woman told us she'd be right back, closed the door, then after a solid minute she reemerged and thrust a gallon jug of water and two cups into our hands. "You can keep the cups." she said, closing the door before we could do anything more than thank her. Closed-off charity at its finest 😆. The second highlight was having dinner with the mission nurse and her family. Lots of fun stories and inside information, and they gave us a referral!

Minutes before giving my sacrament meeting talk, I pulled out a pen and added these words onto the end. I'll let my email reflect my talk by adding them here.

I bear my testimony that as we choose to rely on the Savior's mercy even when we feel farthest from Him, our trust for Him will grow, and with that trust we will know Him as we never have before.

God be with you,

Elder Tolman

Chapter 15: Spreadsheets

It's been the start of my second transfer in Rancho Peñasquitos, but it almost feels like a whole new area since we've been going around introducing Elder Meilstrup to everyone (and in some cases reintroducing me). To add to that, this is my first transfer as the designated driver, which has given me much better awareness of where everything is. We've been scheduling member lessons like crazy, we're working with the ward council a lot more, and we've had a new focus on quickly visiting each of our iffy nonmember friends and either pinning a lesson time down or just dropping them. As a result, sadly, we've let Susan, Shawn, and Grace go, but it's been good to focus more on where we're needed.

Elder Meilstrup has been a fine addition to this area. He has a special knack for working with members, and that's really complimented what my previous companions have taught me. What's more, he's alleviated one of the concerns I've had about running an area. For me, planning visits has always felt a little haphazard, with a lot of picking out random people and digging through their timeline to roughly gauge their needs, unsure of who is flying under our radar. But Elder Meilstrup has introduced a solution through a language I can actually speak: spreadsheets! We've been reconciling our own records with the ward directory and laying out every household with notes about their needs, activity status, and how recently they've been visited. In addition to making things way more organized, this has helped us start to work more closely with the Ward Council, which has been well appreciated on both sides.

Welp, that’s how the work has generally been going. I once again find myself short on email-writing time, so I'll lean on a couple of the photos to serve some of the entertainment value. There are definitely stories I'd love to write out if I could. Many of them come from Friday when we went on exchanges with the assistants to the president. I got to go with Elder Mickel again, which was such a positive experience. We taught several lessons in La Mesa, encountered an unequivocal miracle when we ran into the Farsi speaking Elders and then an interested Farsi speaking family who just """happened""" to be at a park a few streets over, and had numerous meaningful discussions about the gospel and our journeys as missionaries. I admire our fine AP's humility and his earnest dedication to this work. A quick quote for ya: we taught a friend named Otis the Plan of Salvation and afterward he expressed how much relief his new testimony was bringing him, from feeling better about work to sleeping better at night. We asked about his work and he told us he was a lineman. One of the situations he sometimes faces is repairing electrical lines in storms. A member we brought along for the lesson commented, "Water and electricity are a dangerous combination." To which Otis replied without hesitation, "They ain't got nothing on Christ."

Another quick story: one night, Elder Meilstrup and I were discussing how badly we needed to meet with the bishop as we entered the clerk's office to do some work on the computer. We finished up there, and as we stepped out, I reached for my keys (car, office, apartment) to discover an empty pocket. We turned back to the mercilessly locked door behind us. I had left the keys inside. Rookie mistake! After a lot of PG-rated expressions of exasperation, I determined that between the clerk and the bishop, I was closer with the latter, so I pulled out my phone and made the call of shame. Bugging the bishop to come out to the church past 8 PM was definitely the last thing I wanted to do, but our hands were tied. He picked up, I told him our situation, and he asked "So you're at the church? Is that you I hear right outside my office?" The door beside us opened and out stepped the bishop! He was already there to save the day. What's more, we got to touch base with him there and set up a visit for that weekend. Two birds with one stone (even though one of those birds was of my own clumsy making).

And a fancy tidbit: one of the members and I did Relatives Around Me on the FamilySearch app and discovered that we're 3rd cousins once removed! And the following night another member came up to me and revealed that she's decended from Judson Tolman, my ancestor. I love that we have access to information like that. Just think how many cousins bump into one another as strangers each day.

I'll end off with a thought that occured during exchanges. The degrees of glory God has prepared for his children are compared to the sun, the moon, and the stars. Think about how all three are beautiful. Consider first the wonder of the stars in their multitude. Then the moon, the texture of its face and the changing of its phases. And lastly the sun, which shines so brightly we only ever gaze at it in its diminished state--maybe during sunrise and sunset. At noon when it's at its brightest, we can't bear looking into it, though we see its light all around us. If we marvel at the beauty of the stars and moon, imagine how much more we'd marvel at the sun if we could endure looking into it with the naked eye. This helps me understand what it means to dwell in God's presence, and why we need to be changed from our current state in order to have joy with Him. We can appreciate light no matter what state we're in, and His light reaches wherever it is accepted. But to really know the beauty of brightness beyond measure? That takes transformation.

The gospel of Jesus Christ provides just that.

God be with you,

Elder Tolman

Photos:
Companionship study at the park
Exchanges with the APs
Me with Elder Mickel on exchanges
Elder Meilstrup teaching the Bishop’s boys the elegant Eldridge Knot, which he wears proudly each day.
We all showed up to church with Eldridge Knots the next day.

A 3D-printed "Rocktipus" given to Elder Meilstrup by a member in one of his previous areas. It just chills on our dash, staring random objects and people down.

Chapter 14: A Diminutive Transfer Note

 This has had to be an off week as far as my email goes, for which I apologize. But here are a few quick things:

• It was a rough week overall. Elder Creasy sadly got very sick for multiple days, so let's just say I did a lot of studying. Through the marvelous powers of zinc and vitamin C, I escaped with only a mild sore throat (thanks mom! I came well equipped!).
• We got to do some service setting up before and taking down after a sewing event for Days for Girls.
• I went on an exchange with my district leader and while out knocking doors we met a kind woman named Lisa whose husband John has met with missionaries in the past. She gave us their contact info and invited us to return to meet him.
• On new years eve, we met up with the district during dinner hour and borrowed a member's copy of Settlers of Catan. My Hammond blood runs true--I won! A brick monopoly and securing largest army served me well.
• We had a crazy nonmember dinner that I can't even begin to describe.
• Today is transfer day! I'm staying in Rancho Peñasquitos and Elder Creasy is moving to El Cajon. My new companion is Elder Meilstrup, and he's fantastic. We've got a lot in common and he's very ambitious about this area, so I'm excited.

Remember that everything we do in our religion comes back to building a relationship with God. Look through this lens, and confusing things instead have profound insight.

God be with you,

Elder Tolman