Chapter 25: California Oranges

Happy late St Patrick's day! Hope you made it through pinch-free! I did not 😆. More on that in a bit. This has been a pretty good week. A little gloomy at the start, but more and more eventful as it went on. We're continuing to chug along with lots of member lessons, looking for the parts of the ward that need strengthening. We get cool little experiences here and there. Visiting members at exactly the right time when their schedule is normally busy, checking in on someone when they happened to be having a hard day, finding a spontaneous service opportunity.

Early in the week we sent our friend Susan a text to see how she was doing. In previous transfers we've tried to keep in touch with her, inviting her to events and trying to set up lessons, but everything consistently fell through, and she's been facing difficult health challenges, so we decided to give her some space a while ago. A couple days after we messaged her, she responded, and later that day, we suddenly got a call from her. We answered to discover she actually meant to call the hospital, but had somehow dialed us up instead. This accidental call turned into a 10 minute conversation where she told us about the challenges she's been facing, her efforts to pray 24/7 through them, and her struggles to hold onto a positive attitude. She requested our prayers for help with that last thing, and gladly accepted our offer to send a talk that had come to mind on the topic of having joy through difficult circumstances ("Joy and Spiritual Survival" October 2016). Partway through the conversation, she voiced what was on all of our minds: though she had dialed us up by mistake, that call was no accident. We're planning on seeing her today to drop off a plate of cookies!

We had a few little St Patrick's Day highlights. A couple days before said holiday, we had an accordingly themed member meal featuring cabbage and corned beef, which Elder Meilstrup and I tried for the first time. We had both only ever heard of corned beef because because of the first Harry Potter book where Ron says he hates it 😆. It was pretty good though. Just before dinner we were pondering with the members over how exactly the tradition of pinching people on St Patrick's day came about. I said, "I feel like these days it's only perpetuated by elementary schoolers looking for an excuse to bug each other..." then I remembered, "...and by our mission president and his wife. They threatened to pinch us if we didn't show up to interviews with green ties this Friday." Pinching people not wearing green: a tradition propped upon the backs of elementary schoolers and mission presidents alike. In that same member meal we had a big discussion on genealogy. We heard from one of the members about RootsTech this year, which she had recently returned from, and about a 30-year journey she had been on to fill in a mysterious portion of her family tree.

Interviews that Friday went well. I donned my green tie and thus escaped them unharmed. The Merritts brought a bunch of themed snacks as well, so the holiday was acknowledged quite a bit more than I usually see. In our interviews, we were each given two powerful invitations. The first was to consider something we spend a significant amount of time on that isn't in line with our missionary purpose and offer it up to the Lord as a personal sacrifice. The second was related to something we talked about in Zone Conference. We often consider self doubt and self confidence to be on opposite ends of a spectrum, but a more powerful way to consider confidence is to put both on the same end of the spectrum, and put "Christ confidence" on the other end. True confidence comes from the sure hope that Christ provides and relying wholly upon His merits. We were invited to spend some time in our journals reflecting on how we saw Christ confidence in our day.

That night, we held sports night with the youth, so my aforementioned green tie was tucked away with the rest of my proselyting attire after we changed. I had chosen my change of clothes that morning without thinking, so one of the youth, seeing only blue, black, and white on me, walked up mid-game and ominously asked, "Are you wearing green?" Thinking quickly, I replied, "Uuh, yes!" And then pushed the inside of my shirt up through my collar to reveal that my magnetic missionary tag had a green back. After a slightly disappointed pause, he said, "Those tags are cool! I've been wondering what the back looks like. Can I see that?" This time not thinking at all, I just said, "After this round of chair soccer." The game finished, I handed the tag over, and the moment I let go of it, I realized what was about to happen. *pinched*

...and, to add insult to injury, there was absolutely an allegory in that.

On Saturday morning I got to attend my grandfather's funeral over Zoom, and it was a profound experience. I'm so grateful for the life he led and the spiritual foundation he laid for my family. I'll miss his bear-hugs, signature mac-n-cheese, and sincere testimony. With the rest of my family, I look forward to finding out the work he's doing on the other side of the veil, and asking how he's doing to once again hear him say, "Mean as ever." Several things in the funeral aligned in simple heavenly ways. I listened to some of my immediate and extended family give a beautiful performance of O Divine Redeemer (grandpa's favorite, and the very song he passed away listening to) only to discover afterward that they had pulled that difficult piece off miraculously, having very little time to prepare. Perhaps I'm now a witness that when unseen angels join a choir, they can, in fact, be heard over Zoom. My dad also shared in his remarks a quote from Elder Eyring that my companion and I had shared in a lesson just a couple days before.

Immediately following that heartfelt morning, I got to help with one of the funnest service projects I've yet participated in. Some members in our ward have a couple orange trees in their backyard, and they needed the oranges to be picked and squeezed into orange juice. We'd been trying to plan this service for quite some time, but it's been so rainy lately that we only just got to it. The weather was absolutely perfect that day and the Black Mountain elders joined us, so it was quite the party. Juicing the oranges was immensely satisfying, and after filling several jars and running out of time, we barely made a dent in the multitude of oranges we had picked. It smelled SO good as we worked, and it took some willpower to not chug one of the jars halfway through filling it. We did get to take some home though!

    

  

On Saturday evening we went to a lesson with what we expected would be the same quiet, pleasant little family we knew when we last taught them, but when we arrived, it turned out to be a raucous congregation of young adults. Their daughter was visiting from college and had brought 4 friends with her. We had dinner in their backyard, where there were some very well-attended hummingbird feeders. I turned to the parents and said, "We expected a calm dinner tonight, but instead, the jabbering hummingbirds over there are joining the jabbering college students over here in magnificent harmony." They replied, "Hmm...not so much harmony. More like...cacophony." For our lesson, we started by sharing the lyrics of Brightly Beams Our Father's Mercy. We've now given 3 lessons structured around the lyrics of that hymn. The first focused on our role as keepers of the "lower lights," intended to align with Christ's lighthouse to safely guide those around us to peace and joy. The second focused on being aware of the "tempest-tossed sailors" around us. For this third lesson, we focused on those times when we ourselves are the tempest-tossed sailors, and we need to rely on the lower lights God provides us. We bridged that analogy over to the allegory of the vineyard given in Jacob 5, where it shows that the branches of the trees needed to be supported by the foundational strength of the roots (a.k.a the light of Christ and the many blessings we find strength in). It went very well, and we learned that 4 of the young adults there had their mission calls, so we spent the end of the lesson answering their questions about the mission field!

Sunday was pretty packed. We spent the entirety of the day going back and forth between meetings and lessons. During daily planning, we only anticipated doing 2 stop-by visits, and we didn't even get to those in the end. We had a stake-wide missionary correlation meeting that day, which all the ward mission leaders attended. It was interesting to hear their different takes on ward mission plans, and to consider more ways we can encourage members to share the gospel and be a light to others. That evening, we had a dinner lesson with an inactive family who we've had the chance to meet with once before, and we absolutely love them! They're so friendly and it's apparent just how much good the people in this ward can do for them. They've only met a few of the members in Rancho Peñasquitos, so we're excited for this Sunday when their schedule hopefully allows them to attend church. There everyone can introduce themselves and they'll have the opportunity to see just how well they fit in and belong.

Before that lesson, we had planned to share a comparison between Alma the Younger's experience where his pain was transformed into joy, and Moroni's discussion on faith, where the Lord tells him that weakness can become strength. Our message was going to focus on those incredible transformations Christ can bring about. However, partway through dinner, one of them revealed that they loved genealogy. We talked about that for quite a while, Elder Meilstrup shared a scripture about how we make covenants not just as individuals but as a part of an eternal family, and it was looking like we wouldn't need to share a message because we were already having a gospel-centered discussion. Yet, as we neared the end of our meeting, I was feeling so grateful for how open they were with us and how giving they were toward us that I really wanted to show we had prepared something for them. The same member who brought up genealogy had been telling us about some difficulty she's been facing looking for a new job. She's had an immensely successful professional life, but recently decided to switch careers, so hirers haven't been valuing the experience she has to offer. Before we left, I asked if I could share one quick verse, and pulled out the second half of the lesson we had planned. Ether 12:27. We live in a society intensely focused on competition and comparison. As we pursue our goals, it can be easy to feel worthless when our abilities don't seem to measure up. Our abilities are what so many people around us show that they care about--sometimes it's seemingly all they care about. But the Lord tells Moroni that when we feel this weakness, nothing is wrong with us. Weakness is God-given. It is there to bring us closer to Him. It is not ability we should seek after, but humility. And with this humility, we can rely on God's grace in all we seek after. From this, we gain confidence. Not self confidence, but Christ confidence. As we concluded, she told us that after all the exertion and struggle of her past few weeks, that message was exactly what she needed to hear.

On Monday, Elder and Sister Shipp, the new senior missionaries in our zone, made lunch for us! We held District Council a bit earlier so we could join the rest of the zone for that. 

Zone lunch with Elder and Sister Shipp!

Also, later that day I discovered that several members of our ward are part of a commonwealth that puts on Shakespeare plays each year! Our primary president has directed some of the plays in the past and it was exciting to hear from her about them since I've been in many of the same ones! They're going to be performing The Tempest soon, and boy oh boy do I wish I were at liberty to attend.

I have one last experience I wanted to share from this week, and it begins with Elder Meilstrup and me sitting down one morning to plan our lessons for the day. Deciding what insights to share with the families we teach can sometimes be a bit of a monotonous task, trudging through blank-minded indecision. When you don't know what their specific needs are, and they're already familiar with the Preach My Gospel lessons, it's often hard to come up with ideas. As we opened with a prayer that morning, I found myself struggling with a lot of rebellious emotions. I felt irritable, uninspired, and disinterested. Soon after closing my eyes to pray, I found myself opening them again. Praying while in that mood felt like humming a discordant note into a harmony. The next couple seconds went by in slow motion as I considered my state of mind. There was no other word for it: pride. My will was turned against God's. When we talk about humbling ourselves, we can be referring to the spirit behind a great number of actions, but sometimes, humbling oneself can become a pure action unto itself. This was one of those times. Straining in the midst of what I was feeling, I closed my eyes again and listened to the prayer Elder Meilstrup was offering, opening my heart to it despite the emotional dissonance. It was in the same fashion that one might keep on running or lifting a weight even as their muscles scream in protest. That same sigh of resolution, sitting with the pain and exertion instead of backing off from it. The prayer finished, and we got planning. For our first lesson, an idea suddenly occurred to me, and I felt good about it. I shared it with Elder Meilstrup and he said that the exact same thing had occurred to him! A lesson plan came together soon afterward. For the second lesson, a simple discussion question came to mind along with a scripture, and we got the sense that we didn't need to plan much more than that. For the third lesson, my mind went blank, but after a minute or so, my attention was drawn toward my Preach My Gospel book in front of me. It was open to a section on "Temples and Family History," and even as I looked at it, the wind blew and turned the pages to "The Light of Christ." I half-sarcastically presented the topics to Elder Meilstrup, and he latched onto the second one, from which a lesson plan soon followed. Long story short, all three lessons were a resounding success! Perhaps my brain just happened to work a little more quickly that morning, but I think it's equally likely that this simple, conscientious attempt to humble myself opened me to inspiration I wouldn't have otherwise received.

God be with you,

Elder Tolman

Elder Meilstrup and I posing for a member to send a photo to our parents.
I've now come across a couple members who like to do that for missionaries.
Very thoughtful!

The light on this tree caught my eye,
and thus I'm delivering it to your eyes.

Foggy evening arriving back at our apartment

Getting spooky in a dark hallway after District Council